Tempting Fate
by Life-in-shadows
Summary: What Bella's life would have been like if the wolfs hadn't saved her the day Laurent was in the meadow.
1. The meadow

Hello. I don't want to take a lot of your time but I just want to say:

_Just quickly I'd like to say I don't own The Twilight saga or any of the characters mentioned in the story below. Just so you know. This is just a story idea that I put down into words._

_Summary: What Bella's life would have been like if the wolfs hadn't saved her the day Laurent was in the meadow._

_The start of the story is the words from the book itself, then they follow on into my own. You'll know when that happens because I'm not that great with writing. =D_

_Hope you enjoy it though! And if anyone likes it I'll post the other chapters I've written after this one._

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Tempting Fate

_The meadow_

Laurent's weight shifted slightly, and I stumbled another step back.

He frowned. "I suppose she'll be angry all the same."

"Then why not wait for her?" I choked out.

A mischievous grin rearranged his features. "Well, you've caught ma at a bad time, Bella. I didn't come to this place on Victoria's mission-I was hunting. I'm quite thirsty, and you do smell...simply mouthwatering."

Laurent looked at me with approval, as if he meant it as a compliment.

"Threaten him", the beautiful delusion ordered, his voice distort with dread.

"He'll know it was you," I whispered obediently. "You won't get away with this."

"And why not?" Laurent's smile widened. He gazed around the small openings in the trees. "The scent will wash away with the next rain. No one will find your body- you'll simply go missing, like so many, many other humans. There's no reason for Edward to think of me, if he cares enough to investigate. This is nothing personal, let me assure you, Bella. Just thirst."

"Beg," my hallucination begged.

"Please," I gasped.

Laurent shook his head, his face kind. "Look at it this way, Bella. You're very lucky I was the one to find you."

"Am I?" I mouthed, faltering another step back.

Laurent followed, lithe and graceful.

"Yes," he assured me. "I'll be very quick. You won't feel a thing, I promise. Oh, I'll lie to Victoria about that later, naturally, just to placate her. But if you knew what she had planned for you, Bella..." He shook his head with a slow movement, almost as if in disgust. "I'd swear you'd be thanking me for this."

I stared at him in horror.

He sniffed at the breeze that blew threads of my hair in his direction. "Mouthwatering," he repeated, inhaling deeply.

I tensed for the spring, my eyes squinting as I cringed away, and the sound of Edward's furious roar echoed distantly in the back of my head. His name burst through all the walls I'd built to contain it. _Edward, Edward, Edward._ I was going to die. It shouldn't matter if I thought of him now. _Edward, I love you._

I clenched my eyes shut and froze. What was the point in running when Laurent would catch me anyway? And, maybe, Laurent _was_ doing me a favour. I knew the truth I'd locked up inside me for so long and I couldn't deny it any longer. I never could deny it.

Edward's feelings had changed for me but that didn't mean mine had for him. Because I knew, in my body and soul, that I couldn't live without Edward, and Laurent was almost helping me cope.

Both me and Edward could be happy now.

The world suddenly went into slow motion. Laurent's breaths whipped on my neck as he leaned closer and my hands clenched into fists at my sides. There was no point in fighting either; I wouldn't win if I tried.

Laurent said it would be quick. I took comfort in that.

"No. Bella, fight!" My hallucination pleaded, "Don't give up. Keep fighting!"

_I can't,_ I didn't dare say it allowed not because Laurent was here but because I was afraid my hallucinations of him would leave.

And then Laurent's teeth punctured the skin of my throat.

I hadn't been ready for the pain, so I couldn't hold back on the scream of agony that escaped me. His teeth stung far worse than anything I could imagine. The feeling was like someone pouring acid in a cut, and when the acid was in my system they set the wound alight, before tearing and ripping the skin apart to expose the flesh and veins beneath. Being bitten by James last year in the ballot studio was nothing compared to this. I'd been mostly unconscious and wasn't aware of the burning until I woke up, and saw Edward...

_Edward..._

I wondered what was worse, being bitten by Laurent or losing Edward.

Instantly, I didn't have to think about it, I knew.

Losing Edward definitely was more maddening. The hole in my chest rippled in response and took my breath away. Where being bitten was a physical pain, losing Edward was a physical and mental torture. My heart beat for Edward...

But soon it would stop.

I opened my eyes to see the sky blurred above me. Silent tears were streaming uncontrollably down my face as images of Edward telling me goodbye played over and over in my head.

So lost in the thought of heart break I almost forgot Laurent was still feeding from me. He said he'd make it quick. Either he was wrong or the world was playing so slowly that it felt like an eternity.

One of Laurent's hands was rooted and fisted in my hair, holding my head so far back that it was uncomfortable. His other hand was on my left shoulder, next to where he was drinking. His long, deadly nails dug into my shoulder; but the aching grip was lost in the scolding agony of the bite.

Abruptly the sky went grey and blackness coloured my vision...

I'm dying...I could feel it. I could also feel dread and regret.

I regret not saying a final goodbye to my parents...or...or...

Or ever seeing Edwards face; or hearing his voice one last time, even if he is saying goodbye.

Where are my delusions? Had they gone? I needed to see them, to keep me sane for just a while longer.

I could feel my heart flutter, in fear and anxiety, and then it started to slow in rhythm.

The sky turned black.

The pressure against my neck had gone and I drowned myself in the thought of whether Laurent had left or if he was still feeding. Maybe I was so close to death that I'd lost all feeling.

Though, my very last thought, as I sank into unconsciousness, _Edward, forgive me. I love you._

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	2. Life through new eyes

_Hey everyone!_

_So, this is the second part and I didn't really know what I was going to do after the 1st chapter so I thought that this could happen. Why not?_

_It was just a random moment anyway._

_But I hope you guys enjoy it all the same!_

_=D _

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Life through new eyes

_**BPOV**_

My mind was foggy and I couldn't remember what had happened. All I could remember was me trying to find the meadow and then falling asleep and the next moment I'm opening my eyes to a miserable, cloudy sky. The weird thing was the sky looked very familiar, and so defined. I could see the smoothness on each grey cloud and all the different tones of grey that coloured it. Then I saw the trees that threatened to block out the sky, every line and wrinkle of the brown bark stood out in incredible detail, and I could see tiny droplets of water glisten on the emerald leaves.

I shook my head, to sort out my jumbled up thoughts and a few realisations hit me. When I looked around I confirmed one of my thoughts. I was in the meadow, I had reached it.

But why was I asleep? How did I become unconscious? I strained back to think of what had happened, but it was as clear as the sky. Straining harder against the headache that was building from making sense of the unclear glimpses I got in my head I saw me standing here in the meadow with someone.

Edward? I couldn't stop myself from hoping. The images became clearer and, with a disappointing blow to the stomach, I recognised Laurent's face.

Laurent? Why was he here?

I sat up on the warm grass; it tickled my skin, and I concentrated. Piece by piece, my memories came back to me, and when they did I stiffened in shock.

How am I still alive?

I reached for the left side of my neck...Nothing. No evidence of what my memories were telling me. Did I imagine the whole thing? Did I just trip and hit my head? No, I was sure it had happened. I remembered the pain. But...

...that's impossible! I shouldn't be alive!

Pushing against the ground I stood up and went to the middle of the meadow. As I walked I established there was no pain, anywhere. I looked down at myself in examination and was startled to see blood soaked into my clothes. Dried blood; Blood that made my head spin and my throat burn...

Somewhere in the back of my mind warning signals were going off but I wasn't paying attention, I was more preoccupied by thinking a stream off question mentally; they flowed so quickly it was if I was thinking them all at the same time.

What's wrong with me? Why am I healed? Did Laurent heal me? Did he feel bad? Why is everything so different and yet still the same? Why does my throat absently burn every time I take a breath?

I needed to get a hold off myself. I was losing it.

But the most annoying question was: why do I feel like I know the answers to all of the questions ringing in my head?

I stopped myself from thinking of more questions that were tempting to bubble over the edges of my resistance.

Above everything I needed to clear my head to think, so I walked. Not really heading anywhere but trying to get a handle on my bewildering thoughts and memories from...yesterday? How long ago was it? Had I been unconscious for a few hours or for longer?

And Charlie? If I had been gone longer what would he have thought? It must have destroyed him. Lost in sorrow I found myself travelling to the sound of crashing water in the distance. Within seconds I was stood on the bank of a river. I watched the water flow passed me and forced my scattered thoughts to organise and calm down.

I breathed deeply.

I could smell the leaves on the trees and the bark...the water in the river by my feet...a sweet fragrance far away from where I stood? A fragrance so, incredibly, sweet that it made water pool in my mouth and my throat burn in desire?

I knew the answers to all my previous questions before I looked at my reflection and saw the wild crimson eyes set into a chalky pale face that was my own.

I'm a vampire. I could remember being told about how the change takes place and I knew from..._Edward_...telling me that it feels like his throat is on fire...I really am a vampire...

That's how I healed so quickly. I must have been out for a few days as I changed. I know now that it was how I found my way to the river and how I got there so fast-I'd subconsciously followed the scent. I know its how my memories are foggy and don't make sense, because they were seen through my dull, human eyes. I know why my dried human blood burns my throat and why the smell that lingered in the air, growing stronger, was making the fire spark hotter. How it made me thirsty...

What I wanted to know the most was _why _I'm a vampire. Why did Laurent let me live? Did he have a choice? Was he thinking of leaving me in such a bad state that I couldn't move, giving him enough time to get Victoria?

Just thinking her name made me want to shudder, but I realised I didn't have to. I'm a vampire now, I can look after myself. And maybe, just maybe, if I find Edward he'll want me again. I'll be new and interesting and he wouldn't have to worry about breaking me.

I smiled in anticipation of the thought of Edward wanting me again and I let myself follow the heady smell; the smell that promised to extinguish the sore and fiery anguish, crawling up and down my throat.

Predatory instincts kicked in, and my thoughts were centred on stalking my prey as I lowered into a hunting crouch and let the scent guide me.

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Review please!


	3. Living in shadows

_Hello all._

_Here's the next chapter. I've sort have been making it up as I've been going along and I thought I could make it slightly longer by adding someone else's point of view._

_So who better then Edward. lol._

_But keep in mind that Edward isn't the easiest person's point of view to write from and I tried. =D_

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Edward

Living in shadows

_...60 seconds later..._

_Bella, Bella, Bella..._

That's all there was. It was all that mattered. Nothing else in the world mattered to me than one thing..._Bella._

Her name was the softest of music and if I could cry tears, I would have filed the ocean with them.

It's my fault she's not in my life, I roared at myself. But this was better for her. She deserved better than a blood thirsty monster.

I sobbed broken and tearless sobs and clenched my fists against my temples. I let myself feel both happy, as happy as I ever could be, and intensely sad when I saw her face in my mind. I didn't remember her face when I told her goodbye...when I lied to her...I remembered her face when she had slept, when she lay in my arms and dreamed of me.

I wonder if she still does...

Of course she doesn't. _Why would she?_ I left her, and tore her heart out,-not literally.

I could see it in her eyes, as clearly as any emotion I'd read from her even though she was trying to hide it, that I'd hurt her when I told her goodbye the last time I saw her. Yet she'd let me walk away; she thought I was telling the truth- that I didn't love her. She was so foolish, silly to forget all the times I've told her how I felt.

With a piercing blow to my dead heart I understood that she thought she loved me more than I her. It was absurd. She couldn't have been more wrong.

_How could she not see that everything in my life revolved around her and that everything paled in comparison to her?_ It was silly for her to forget how beautiful and adorable she was, is and will always be. Images of her face smiling warmly at me, with love in her chocolate brown fathomable eyes, and I began wondering if she'd changed. _Had she cut her silky, wavy mahogany hair? Had see started wearing make-up like other girls had?_ Bella didn't need to cover her face, and it seemed wrong to hide her natural, flawless skin.

Then other questions in my mind that felt like a physical blow to my gut: _Has she found someone else? Has she moved on like I told her to? Has she forgotten about me?_

Even though I knew it was better for her to not remember me it still pained me.

I love her. I've always loved her. _Why couldn't she see that when I said goodbye?_ It felt like I was exposing it to the world, and she was the only one that couldn't see it. I love her, and I will forever.

The question that blazed hotter than the fire in my throat was...

_Does _she_ love _me_?_

_Ring, ring _my phone buzzed and I let it continue. I didn't want to talk to my family; I didn't want them to know how beaten I am. How dead I feel.

Esme would be worrying for sure, but like Carlisle they would give me the space I needed. Emmet thought I was going to go insane, Rosalie would have mostly forgotten all about me except the occasional mental insult and Jasper would be in such concentration with keeping control that he'd probably not thought of me much either. It's like I'd stepped out of, not only Bella's life, but my family's too.

Alice had been the only one stubborn enough to try and keep in touch, ringing and texting non-stop for days, weeks, on end. I let the messages save in my inbox, for me to read if I ever felt life could be bearable again.

The beep of the answering machine on speaker announced her leaving another message.

Then I heard Alice's voice in what felt like forever. And she was mad, which rubbed off on me too.

"Edward, for God sake, pick up the phone! I've got something to tell you. And you'll want to hear it. So pick up the phone. I know you're there." She waited, I didn't move. "Fine, I know how to get you to answer me. I had a vision, one word: Bella."

Before I hadn't been paying any attention but as soon as I heard her name my head snapped up and I dived for the phone. "What's happened?" I spoke urgently into the receiver.

"Well it's about time" she mumbled.

I was getting frustratingly impatient. I hissed, "Alice, what's happened to Bella?" If anything had happened to her, so help me God...!

There was a long silence on the other line. "She went to the place I saw you take her when you revealed yourself in the light." My heart throbbed, _our meadow_. _Does that mean she still cares?_

I could feel there was some bad news coming. My voice came out like I was being straggled, "And..?"

My breath got caught in my parched throat.

"All I could see was Bella there. Laurent was nearby, hunting. I'm not sure if they crossed paths. I can't see anything else. And I think we might be too late to help her if something did happen...Edward...Edward? Are you still there?"

I wasn't listening to her. I couldn't make myself.

Rage, anger, regret, distress, sorrow, all strong emotions piled up on top of each other and weighed me down. I couldn't stand for long before my knees gave way and I collapsed to the floor. The phone in my hand, with Alice still speaking my name, turned to rubble when my over-welling sadness, and my grip, intensified. Mentally I calculated the next flight back to Washington and was careful Alice wouldn't know my choice to return there until I left for the airport. After I mapped out my plan, I curled up in a ball again and let the misery have me as the world I knew around me shattered in to thousands of jagged pieces.

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l hopefully add more when I get the time. I'm pretty busy at the moment but I'll try as best as I can.

Hopefully you guys like it.

And please review me! =D


	4. Arriving

_Heya guys!_

_Here is the next part of my story. I was thinking about cutting this in half to make two chapters but in the end I thought they'd be a bit small so now it's one. lol_

_Anyway, I've kept it in Edward's point of view but, in my opinion, it's really hard to write from his view._

_Anyway I hope I did an alright job and you like it! =)_

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Chapter 4

Edward

Arriving

On the plane journey I thought I might as well answer one of Alice's hundreds of calls. As I'd expected she was irritated that I hadn't listened, but she understood why I was going back. But what took me by surprise was that she was concerned for me, and Bella, but she was worried for if I went back and couldn't find her.

"I'm not holding anything against you, Edward. In fact it's probably what I would have done in your case but..." she paused, finding the right words. "Don't hold out for much. If you don't find her, or worse if you do find her and she's hurt,"-I flinched-"don't blame yourself or do anything stupid. I'll be watching you. And if you want me to I'll catch a flight over there too."

"No" I told her, I wanted to be on my own. In case I did or didn't find her, I wouldn't want her to be uncomfortable with my emotions and feel like a third wheel. "I'll be fine."

"Promise?"

"I Promise."

She changed the subject, "Esme has been worrying about you too. We all have."

"I know, and I'm sorry." I apologised, because I didn't want them waste their energy worrying over me.

She hesitated. "After whatever happens, will you come back?"

I thought about that for a hundredth of a second. "I don't know."

"It depends," she finished for me.

"Yeah" I agreed. "It depends."

At the end of our conversation I flipped the new cell phone I had to buy - for the other one I'd crumpled in the shape of my palm when I fisted my stone-like hands around it - and I shoved it in one of my jean pockets. Alice being Alice knew the cell's number before I did, so her obsessive calling could continue against my will.

I sighed, feeling my empty shell of a body twinge in soreness as Alice's earlier words registered in my slowly dying brain. "_If you don't find her or worse if you do find her and she's hurt, don't blame yourself or do anything stupid."_ But how could I not? Assuming that I didn't find her I'd keep looking until I did. And as for if I found her hurt- I shuddered at the thought-I'd kill the person that did that to her; nothing would stop me from hunting down the person that caused her torment. I'd rip them apart.

_What if I found Bella and she _is_ with someone else? What if she doesn't feel the way I still do, and always have felt, for her? Would I tell her how I felt? Would she want to know? Would she even listen? Or would she want to leave _me_ this time?_

A round of questions kept popping up in my mind as I blocked out everything and mindlessly stared out the plane window at the setting Washington sun in the cloudy sky.

The town of Forks that once felt like a home to me was now a bitter place. And it was worse than I thought walking through the streets because every so often I'd walk past a lamppost, a mail box, or a crummy shop window and see her on a missing sign. The picture of Bella created butterflies in my stomach, as well as made me want to double-over as it churned painfully.

Bella in the photo was circled to show she was the person that was missing and was taken just before coming to live with her father; she was stood next a woman with features so similar to Bella's that she had to be her mother. Her mother had an arm around her daughter's shoulders and Bella was biting her lip to hold back from smiling.

My hand was shaking when I reached out to place my finger on the paper as if I was stroking Bella's face. The captions underneath the image read:

**MISSING**

_Bella Swan has been missing since last Saturday, the missing Forks high school student was said to be staying home the night she was reported missing._

_If you have any information concerning this issue please don't hesitate to ring:_

_Mr .C. Swan or The Forks police Station_

Both Charlie's number and the police station's number were written below, along with dates and people's last sightings of her. I'd only been stood looking at the poster for a minute but it still felt like forever.

Empty as ever and thinking of Bella, I tore my hand away from her picture and walked quickly, not caring if a human saw me walk too hastily for a normal person, into the closest entrance of the forest. From there I ran, faster than a bullet, faster than I've ever travelled before, to our meadow- it was as much hers as it was mine. When I neared it I sped faster because the sweet, yet now in this case horrifying, smell of her blood hit me. At the edge of the meadow's clearing, I froze.

Bella's blood had, and was still being, absorbed by the earth beneath my feet. There was so much blood. Blood mixed with the water of the recent rain. But blood was thicker than water.

I felt more sickened by the blood than allured. Her blood was there, but not her body. _Where had they taken her?_ I wanted to yell the question to the heavens- if there even is a heaven. I was so enraged that I was vibrating so much that everything around me quivered and blurred.

Slowly pacing in to the centre of the meadow I sniffed the air for traces of evidence of her path. Her blood lingered in the air with another scent that was flavoured like freesia, which wasn't coming from the blood drenched flowers. I could pick up Laurent's scent slightly in the air and I wished it was strong enough to track. I'd been practising my tracking skills away from Bella when I needed to distract myself from her absence in my life. But his track only reached the outside of the meadow and disappeared. The mud squished under my shoes where Bella's blood had kept it moist. She'd been here recently, but _where is she now_?

I followed the other scent, the flowery one; but just like Laurent's, the scent disappeared a few feet out of the meadow.

Sulking back to the meadow where Bella's blood was, I fell to my knees and pressed my left hand in the puddle of her blood and wept tearlessly. With her blood drenched on my hand, I fisted it and held it to my chest. _She had to be okay, she had to_.

Betraying my promise to Alice I blamed myself for not being here like I should have been. If I'd never left, she wouldn't have been hurt and none of this would have happened. I could have been here, protecting her, where I belonged. Now I've lost her.

On my knees, holding my hand dampened by her blood close - trying to keep a part of her with me- I yelled in frustration and then cried broken sobs in to the once silent darkness, that had become the worst night of my entire existence.

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I hope you like it.

And I'd like to say a big thank you to everyone that's reviewed me! It always cheers me up when I read them. =D

Please review


	5. Beyond recognition

Hi guys!

This is a very short chapter but I'm working on making them longer. I've just so much going on right now that it's nearly too hard to cope.

But I'll survive.

This is just a little snip-it I wanted to add in. Don't know why, Just did. =)

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Beyond recognition

Edward

5 months later

I could no longer determine the passing of days, hours or even minutes. Time was long and never ending. It stretched out in front of me, vowing to be my own personal hell.

Unforgivably I'd shouted at Alice more than once when she'd told me over the phone that she hadn't had a vision of where Bella was. She kept telling me, "Her future is really foggy. I can't make anything out of it. Just be thankful that there's a chance she's alive."

I lived off of that. Just knowing there's a slight possibility Bella was alive is the only thing I live for. All that mattered to me. Thinking of her dead was agonizing and unbearable; thinking of her hurt makes my blood boil. It's a need to kill the person that spilt her blood, I wanted to rip and gash open there insides slowly so they could feel pain, torture and affliction. Savouring every scream of torment I could laugh when I burnt the jigsaw pieces their body had become after I'm through with them. I'd leave them mangled and broken. I'd make sure Bella was healing and far away before I deal with the culprit.

Bella should see the monster I am, but my heart doesn't want her to know. Being hard enough as it is, me being the one to leave her, I didn't want to push her further away then she is. My eyes stung with the ghost of tears as I imagined having to watch her face fade in the distance again, though this time she'd be the one walking away.

I could feel myself falling apart.

And Alice had the nerve to insist on a trip to Alaska, 'like the old family we used to be', to visit the Alaskan clan. After I'd growled at her, refusing to leave my hide out where I could suffer like the beast I was, she used "they're our family too, Edward" on me and wouldn't take no for an answer from then on.

No offense to Tanya's family but they weren't the people I wanted to see. The only people I want to see are Bella, and if not her then I'd want to see the Volturi. If I couldn't see Bella's face or hear her voice again then I'd want the Volturi to kill me. I'd ask them, beg them.

Alice, being the irritating thing she is, is keeping a close eye on my decisions. Thinking about rushing to Italy would put Alice on alert and she'd be there to drag me back home.

Only one person in my family could relate to everything I was enduring, because they could feel it with me. Jasper is one of the reasons I stayed away from my family; if he felt all of the overwhelming emotions I was feeling along with having to deal with the effort of control over thirst, it might send him too far. But Alice didn't understand the pain I was going through. Everything around me had changed- lost contrast and meaning. My body couldn't stop shaking and I ached from the loss of losing her. It was like I hadn't breathed in what felt like forever. Starving myself to feel the excruciating pain as punishment for not being there to protect her was also a reminder to me that this was real. I wished it wasn't real, and if I could dream this would be my nightmare.

I wished I was human before leaving her so I didn't have to or be careful with her. I wished I was human and I could end my life so quick and easily. That I could join Bella in death and if there's an afterlife then I could be with her there. My heart wasn't beating, but it throbbed.

I wish, more than anything, I was dead too. I haven't really 'lived' in a century, but Bella made me feel whole and made my life have a reason. My body has been dead for a hundred years, and now, my soul is too.

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Thanks everyone!

Really enjoy reading comments so please review!

I have got more of the story I'm uploading now, I just wanted this to be separate from the next one because the next one is in someone else's point of view. =)


	6. Seeing the unknown

Heya all!

Yeah, it's in Alice's point of view.

I feel like I didn't do very well in my latest ones but oh well. As long as at least one person likes it, then I'm happy.

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Alice

Seeing the unknown

Edward looked much worse than I'd imagined when he met us in the outskirts of Alaska. His eyes, black as night and dark bruises under his eyes stood out of his ashen, blank face. His hair was untreated and he looked as if he hadn't seen what he'd put on. He looked as if nothing could reach him; he was so distant even when he was so close.

Esme itched to hug him, considered it, and then hugged him anyway.

Edward didn't respond.

Releasing him, Esme joined Carlisle's side and they both stayed silent, observing the situation and worried about their suicidal son.

Jasper looked at me with a frown creasing his forehead, reached for my hand and pulled me along. Everyone else followed us to the silver Volvo and the black Mercedes.

Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett rode in the black Mercedes. Jasper, me and Edward took his Volvo.

"I'll drive" I chirped, and climbed in to the driver's seat.

Edward didn't reply.

Knowing Edward, if he were okay, I would have thought he'd insist in driving. I glanced at him in the rear-view mirror and sent him a silent question. '_Are you okay?_'

Edward didn't respond.

Jasper moved in the passenger seat next to me, leaning forward and bowing his head, pressing his left hand to his temple. "Just drive" he instructed, under stress from all the emotions around him.

Shifting into gear I pulled onto the road. Now and then I couldn't help checking Edward in the mirror to be sure he wasn't planning an escape plan. Every time I saw him his expression became more thoughtful as he started concentrating really hard on something.

_What is it?_

Surprising me, Edward shook his head, not meeting my eyes or even lifting his head.

I let it drop and watched the road. Jasper had his head in his hands in a look of distress. In a comforting gesture, I took one of his hands and held it between us, stroking his knuckles with my thumb. When he straightened in his seat to look at me he looked worn out, but I could see the gratitude in his eyes.

Miles flashed under the Volvo's tires and I glimpsed at the scenery as we passed. The shiny black Mercedes paced speedily behind us.

That's when a strong vision hit me. I gasped aloud and the real world went black.

_The vision was blurry and unclear. Pictures flashed quickly of a building, a house. Tanya's house. I saw her family and us greeting them, and then someone enters the room and a riot breaks lose._

_Laurent._

"Alice. Alice!" Jaspers anxious voice pulled me out of the vision.

We were out of the car and stood in the bank and the side of the road. Esme, Carlisle and Jasper hovered over me and the other three stayed back to give me space. Jasper had his mouth open to say something but I interrupted.

"Why am I here?" I asked, confused.

"We're here to see Tanya's family" Jasper said, "don't you remember?"

I blinked away the light headedness, "I know that. I mean, why are we off the road?"

"You stopped the car, Alice." Esme explained.

"And you walked here" Jasper added.

_Why?_ I didn't speak the question aloud. Shaking away the vision and turning back to my cautious family I mumbled, "How far away are we?"

"Couple of miles" Emmett huffed, "only another half hour drive or so."

Taking in the scene around us, the trees, the mountains covered in snow in the distance, a lake near enough to smell and the gravelly dirt of the road.

"What did you see?" Edward demanded in a rugged voice, with the first glimmer of emotion I've seen him wear. He looked bewildered and impatient.

Careful not to betray my control, I didn't let my thoughts give anything away. "A vision of us arriving, nothing to worry about, we should arrive in" I concentrated, "about twenty minutes. So we better get going." Everyone around me relaxed. "They'll be waiting for us. They've been wondering about you too." I didn't let him no _which _someone more than the rest.

Edward just frowned to himself and I hoped I hadn't let anything slip through my defences. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something but reconsidered and closed it.

Carlisle recalled everyone's attention, "I agree with Alice, I think we should get going, as long as she is alright."

"I'm fine" I told them and watched Edward flinch and turn his back on us and stalked to the Volvo.

Jumping behind the wheel again, I only just made sense of his response. Bella always said 'I'm fine', even when she wasn't.

"Can you not-" Edward broke off, clutching his temples. "Please!" He pleaded earnestly.

I stopped thinking completely, accept one word: _Sorry!_

Edward was frozen, fisting his hair and hiding his face in his lap.

As I drove I grew bored quickly. Not authorized to think, left me wanting to grumble mentally and think through how I could avoid what my vision was telling me, but I couldn't. So instead of planning, I paid full attention to steering the car.

In twenty minutes we were there, just as I predicted.

My stomach twisted and lurched at the upcoming battle.

The slamming of the car doors sliced the silence, and then Tanya ran out of the house.

"Edward!" Tanya shouted in glee, throwing her arms around his rigid posture. She didn't notice his expression until she stepped back. "Wow. Who died?"

There was a tense moment of silence. Edward's face crumpled in pain.

"What?" Tanya tilted her head in thought then processed what may have happened. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-" she was at a loss for words.

"It's okay." Edward croaked. I couldn't see his face, he was stood in front with his back to me, but his shoulder blades were strained. "Nice to see you're looking after yourself."

Tanya, beseeching, "Sorry. And it's been a while since I heard from you," see turned to us, "all of you."

Carlisle, with Esme's hand in his, walked forward. "I apologise for our lack of communication with you and your family, Tanya. But we've been going through a rough patch lately" He said with a quick glance at Edward.

Tanya followed his gaze to Edward, who was staring into the distance ignoring everything. She addressed Carlisle again, "Of course. I understand." By the expression on her face, it was obvious she didn't. "Come in." She waved them to the front door.

The Denali vampire clan's house was similar to our own, the same colours, but it differed in shape; two stories tall but with a bigger surface area. Still, it felt like home.

Following my family in, we entered the house. Passing through the doorframe I took a peek over my shoulder. Edward was still stood motionless, staring at the ground.

Tanya preserved him, reaching for his arm in comfort, saying "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean-." He'd dodged away before her hand could find purchase on him, trudged up the porch steps and slipped past me silently. Tanya stared after him until he was out of her site, then her eyes unfocused for a moment and then she trailed behind.

I made way for her when she approached.

We proceeded into the living room, much like our own.

I was aware of Irina, Kate, Carmen and Eleazar's startled observation of Edward's vacant presence.

Irina and Kate were shaking everyone's hands and hugging people first while Carmen and Eleazar said how it was a pleasure to see them, before doing the same. I absently remember saying 'hi' to everyone that that shook my hand. I was too focused on the door in my vision that I could see next to the expensive looking TV. Edward was too distracted in his own thoughts that he didn't hear mine. But how could I postpone the nearing horror. Carmen's voice broke into my concentration.

"I'm so glad to see you" Carmen said again wholeheartedly.

Eleazar took her hand and nodded slightly in agreement. "Please, make yourself at home."

Before the door opened into the living room, where we waited, everyone looked at the direction of the sound of the footsteps. Edward was glaring and the wooden door with so much force and fierceness.

The handle turned and a figure appeared.

* * *

So. What do you think?

This chapter is slightly longer then the others and I didn't exactly go into detail about describing the house and that, but when I finish the story I'll probably go back and edit it and add stuff in.

=D Please Review!

and hopefully my attempt and my interpretation of Alice's point of view will be noticed. lol


	7. Helpless

Hey!

This is the next part! Woop woop!

I'm not very sure about this part so please tell me what you think, in all honesty.

And I wonder if your guesses to who it was was right ( confusing? I think so. well it was to write) =D

* * *

Helpless

I didn't even have time to delay.

Laurent strode into the room, casually, in clean jeans and a black t-shirt. Irina was already on the other side of the door to leap into his arms, a smile from ear to ear filled with affection.

Edward's snarls echoed through the house.

The same expression of pure shock was evidently on all Tanya's family's faces.

Before Edward could leap to attack Laurent, both, Jasper and Emmett had a strong hold on him, forcing him back to the front door.

Laurent stood calmly, holding Irina to his chest and staring after Edward as he yelled, "I'll kill him! LET ME KILL HIM!"

"Edward" Esme said softly, in an attempt to quiet him.

Carlisle ordered in a sure voice, "Get him outside."

"No!" Edward protested struggling and, in a weak spot of Jaspers restraints, tore free and lunged at Laurent.

Inches from where Laurent and Irina stood, me, Emmett and Jasper seized him again. With my help we hurled him out the front door and to the trees a few yards from the house. All the way Edward was roaring and snarling in rage.

"Edward" I said through clenched teeth as we fought against him. "STOP!" I screamed at him.

Edward dropped to floor in defeat and started shaking uncontrollably. Emmett and Jasper kept their grip tight as I joined Edward's level. His eyes were shut and his eyebrows were scrunched together in torment.

"Edward. I know this must be hard for you-"

"He killed her, Alice" He stopped me short in a tone that made me feel like he only just had enough control to not break down right in front of us. "She was alone, vulnerable and this wouldn't have happened if I stayed there like I should have all this time."

"You were doing what you thought was right for her" I objected.

"What I thought was wrong." His head sagged down so I couldn't see his face. "I knew I should have stayed. I wanted to stay. I should have been there to protect her" he mumbled to himself.

I put my hand on his shoulder. He didn't respond.

"He killed her," Edward said again as if he couldn't believe she was really gone and couldn't understand why he was giving up.

"I didn't kill her."

I whirled around to the sound of Laurent's voice and the front door. Irina was behind him, panicked.

Emmett and Jasper clasped Edward firmly, anticipating him to hurl himself at him. Edward tried. When he realised there was no use, he didn't loosen out of a hunting crouch, his teeth bared.

"Don't lie to me, I went there. I saw her blood" Edward snarled the words that made my muscles lock down and I stared at him, wide-eyed.

"I didn't kill her-"Laurent spoke neutrally.

"Don't lie to me!"

"If you'll let me finish," Laurent said, unfazed. He glided forward and every step he got closer I could feel Edward brace himself and tense underneath my hand that was still on his shoulder. A small growl rose from Edward's chest, but he didn't say anything. Laurent continued, "I didn't kill her." He said the words, moving closer and closer the whole time. When he finished talking he was a metre away from where me and Edward were crouched. "I turned her into one of us."

Edward was still for a hundredth of a second, and then he thrashed against the hands that stopped him from tearing Laurent's head off. "Why? Why did you do that?" He roared deafeningly. He was so crazed that it was hard to hear his word distinguished from the rumbling thunder in his chest.

Irina curled her hand into a claw in precaution.

"I turned her into a vampire because I knew she meant a lot to you," Laurent said simply.

"So you bit her and left her there to writhe in agony," the words exploded from Edward and flew through the air like daggers.

"Edward" Emmett said in rebuff to his struggles, but he wasn't paying attention.

Laurent's peaceful tone only made Edward angrier, "I left her within a few hours of her transformation. She wasn't alone." He measured Edward with his eyes, accessing the bruises under his midnight black eyes and the chalkiness of his face. "I thought you'd be grateful."

"Grateful?" Edward's tone dripped with sarcasm, venom infested his tone. "Why would I be grateful for you hurting the women I love?"

I'd been so engrossed by what was going on, that I only just noticed the others had come outside when Tanya gasped quietly, with a heartbroken expression on her face, "what?"

Feeling guilty for hurting her feelings but quiet glad she now knew that they had no future, he met her eyes with his own. "I'm in love Bella Swan," he vowed, "I always have and I always will be, no matter what."

Tanya couldn't rap her head around it; she stood shaking her head for three tenths of a second then ran into the house in embarrassment and rejection. I could hear her pain in Jasper's mind, but it didn't faze me.

"I saw her not long ago you know," Laurent continued as if tempting Edward to step forward and battle him.

Edward growled animalistic-ally.

"When?" I asked and then a silence fell on us, though Edward was still on the floor, snarling quietly.

Bright crimson eyes met mine, "The last I saw of her was a month ago. She was doing quite well for herself," his gaze went back to my raging brother, "She even thanked me."

Another roll of thunder from his chest, "You're lying."

"Where's the fun in lying when I could be entertained more by the truth? Bella thanked me for changing her in to a vampire"-the roar from Edward rose louder in the stunned emptiness-"and I would have thought you would have to." Laurent's head turned to one side slightly. "Obviously I was wrong."

"You could have left her altogether. You didn't have to ruin her life!"

Laurent, for the first time in the argument, had a fierce light in his eyes. "You're making it out to be that _I'm_ the monster. I'm not the one that left her there in the first place."

"That gives you no reason to interfere in her life, to destroy her soul! And I left for her, because she'd be better off if I wasn't there to make everything harder for her." Shaking like a mad man, Edward shouted at him.

"You should have seen her face when she said your name. It nearly killed her," Laurent teased.

I saw in a vision just before it was too late. Jasper and Emmet had, over the duration of the conversation, unfastened their clenched hands on Edward's shoulders. This time we didn't catch him in time. He sprang through the air like a bullet and to strike his target, but Laurent was ready. He dodged the attack and fainted to the left. Edward landed on his feet and turned to face his opponent in a threatening crouch.

"Stop it!" Irina demanded their attention but didn't succeed.

Laurent stood straight and patient while Edward was the opposite.

Angered by their lack of politeness Irina jogged down the porch steps. A hand reached out to stop her and she turned to see it was Katie's. "They aren't going to hurt each other, Irina."

"Speak for yourself," Edward said, surprising everyone into silence. We've never seen him be so disrespectful in all our lives. He'd always been the nice, considerate and caring creature, but losing Bella had pushed him off the edge. Anyone could see that.

Then he turned on me. "I thought you were with me, Alice. I thought you would understand. You cared for her too." Edward's eyes were crazed, but underneath the madness were confusion and a lot of pain.

"I do, Edward. We all do." _Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Emmet and, even if she doesn't want to admit it, Rosalie cares about her because you do, Edward. You really care about her, and if you do then we do too. We're family, and Bella was a part of that._ Most of the speech was sent to him mentally but I was sure he got it all because his face became more hurt with every word.

"Then why aren't you helping me protect her?" Edward's eyes were on me but it felt like he was addressing all of us Cullen's.

Carlisle was the one to speak. "By hurting Laurent you aren't protecting her, you're avenging her."

"It's the same thing," he said weakly, in a voice that showed it was plainly a lie. Hearing Carlisle's words helped him more than hearing my own, it soothed him.

"You know it's not, Edward. Bella can decide her own fate and it's not our place to interfere." Carlisle said.

Edward closed his eyes in remorse and seemed to control himself enough to stand up and walk to my side. "But she didn't choose it, it was chosen for her."

"The past is the past, Edward. You can't change it no matter how badly you plead or how much blood you spill." I tried to imitate Carlisle's noble tone and tried to reach Edward.

But he'd gone distant again. He didn't respond.

Irina was still tensed in precaution. Laurent paced slowly back to her and she clung to his hand as she preserved the situation.

Everyone had deflated but the atmosphere was still thick with negative energy.

"I'm starting to think that your visit wasn't the best idea," Eleazar spoke up, still looking bewildered by what had just happened. He had a strong hold on Carmen and kept glancing between Laurent and Edward, anticipating another outburst.

Carlisle looked to his son's face to and nodded, "We'll leave. I apologise that this had to occur. Emmet, Jasper, escort the others back to the cars. I'd like to say goodbye before we leave."

Emmet and Jasper nodded, urging us back in the direction we had come from, our earlier scent lingered leaving a preserved track to follow.

They started leaving, but I didn't move.

Jasper ran back to me. "Come on, Alice." He said, giving me a small tug on the arm.

Wordless, I let him drag me away.

* * *

So what do you think? and were you right?

Please review.

The full truth, don't try sparing my feelings, cause this chapter got away from me and there are probably thousands of mistakes in. lol

And a big thanks to all the comments I got from you guys, they make me smile. =D


	8. Predatory instinct

Hey all!

This is just a small snip-it I wanted to add in, just to check in on how Bella is doing.

=D

* * *

Bella

Predatory instinct

Blood craving.

One desire so overpowering that most of the time I was unaware of what I was doing, being controlled by my thirst.

Sweet. So sweet, my body trembled and venom pooled in my mouth.

The teenage girl, alone and keeping to the shadows-out of witnesses sight-, left the library. Seven books held in a pile in the fold of her arms swayed with every step she took. Little cracks in the pavement made her trip slightly, she caught the books before they fell, righting herself before starting to walk again. She shivered from the sudden cold in her flimsy blue skirt and white shirt.

Every detail was visible, her split-ends and tiny developing spots, even from where I waited, watching; prowling. Like her I was kept in the shadows, but my presence wasn't known.

The girl twirled her red curls between her fingers. Nervously, when a huge group of partiers shoved passed her. She gave them room, and then quickened her pace. I followed her through the streets, stalking in the dark. The sound of her heart beckoned to me. Her blood, so sweet and mouth-watering, drifted to me in the air.

Closer, growing closer still, she had no idea I was now a metre behind her; so quiet she wouldn't think of turning around.

So near...so tempting...

Her blood promised to quench my thirst; animal's blood didn't have the same effect. Animal blood dulled the fire in my throat, but didn't fully relieve the pain- not like human blood.

My breath scratched up and down my throat every time I inhaled the heady scent that trailed after the teen.

Is this really wrong?

Giving into the temptation that was so plainly offering itself to me?

A small part of me knew this was wrong, but the rest screamed to drink the innocent girl's blood.

It was clear that I had two choices:

Either I'll kill her, or I won't.

But which is right?

Halting mid-stride, I closed my eyes and contemplated my actions.

After a few seconds, my eyelids snapped open and I'd decided what was going to happen next.

* * *

What do you think is going to happen?

Thank you for all the comments!

I hope you liked it.

Please review!

=D


	9. Fighting Fate

Hello all. Sorry about not updating in a long time, I've just had a lot of work to do and Christmas and stuff.

oh yeah, a late happy Christmas and new year. 2011! Woop woop!

Anyway...

I wanted to try something different that I've never done before, so this chapter is in poem form.

I know it's really terrible and a very simple poem and anyone else can do a much more thorough job but I didn't want it to be complicated.

Enjoy!

* * *

Fighting Fate

BPOV

Throat a fire, heart still beats

From a far, I feel their heat

From the veins that pulse and stir

As I watch to see which I prefer

Just food, think of nothing more

Red drops to mend the scolding sore

If I remember, I was once mundane

All of this would drive me insane

The sweetest smell, the final pick

I'd make it painless, nice and quick

It draws me in, it calls my name

They'd never know that I'm to blame

But what if they should scream for help?

Would anyone respond to the yelp?

No matter, there is no worry

I'll cover their mouth but I'll have to hurry

I strike, that's it, so easy for me

Careful, be sure, don't let anyone see

Teeth sink effortlessly in the skin

Like butter- smooth, light and thin.

The burn, it's gone, I'm finally free

But the blood on my hands is all I can see!

* * *

Thanks for reading.

And quick question, just to have a readers point of view of the story I'd like a vote.

Please review and vote to whether: Shall Bella be good like the Cullens and live off a animal blood diet? Or shall she be more sterotipical and pick human blood?

It's so you can have a say into what happens next. If there is any chance of a tie then I could probably write both-but that would take a while.

A HUGE thank you to everyone that reviews my stories. =D You're awesome!


	10. The Waiting Game

Hello everybody! Hello everyone!

Hyper moment!

Any-who... this is the next little snip-it of my fan fiction. Sorry that all of my chapters are small but I haven't had much time to really write. Though, the bright side is that I'm in the year where you get the most work and that year is all most over. Yay! Can't wait.

This chapter is quite short -sorry- but I have some plans for the direction of this fan fiction. Muhaha!

It might get ugly! lol

* * *

The Waiting Game

EPOV

I think I'd feel better if I were able to cry, to let everything out, but no. Everything was bottled up inside and punishing me. Time has lost all meaning. It has been weeks, months, maybe even a year or so, of searching for her but nothing more then before. Small signs and traces of her scent bring my hopes up only to bash them down again when the trail stops dead.

Maybe she doesn't want to be found, would she want me to look for her? My head throbbed with troubling questions that left me bewildered.

_What do I _do_?_

My family cannot help me. They don't understand, as much as they want to they just can't do more then help me search for her.

Should I give up? Should I give in and stop? I could never love anyone as much I love Bella, so how can I simply give up on her. Does she not love me anymore? Although the question stung me, a part of me knew that she hates me. Why wouldn't she? I left her unprotected against threats that always seem to find her.

Thousands of thoughts and ideas span in my skull as I sorted them in to do's and don'ts. When I was finish I'd come to the conclusion that I'd wait. I'd stay home and if she wants to find me, she'll know where I am. I hope to god that she finds me.

If she doesn't find me, would I ever cope?

"Edward?" Alice called from behind me.

I stood up from the porch steps and turned to see her stood at the front door. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" Fiddling with her hands anxiously, she asked with a voice full of concern as she walked down the steps to me. "You've been out here for hours. Esme wanted me to check on you."

Hearing the fact that I knew already, that my family was worried about me, was still upsetting to hear aloud. I will try as hard as I can now to not scare them ever again. "Yeah, I'll be okay."

"You're sure?" She said uncertain.

My mouth twitched to a smile for a sixth of a second. "Let's do something, to get my mind off…everything."

Alice just looked at me, studying my features. Then, a third of a second later, her face lit up into a huge smile. "Okay. What shall we do?"

I told her what she wanted to hear, and what was going through her head, "You can decide, if you want."

"Alright," she squeaked enthusiastically. "Um…" She concentrated for a while, "There's going to be thunder and lightening later…so…Baseball?"

I grinned at her, forcing myself to not remember what happened the last time we played.

Emmett appeared out of nowhere, "I heard baseball. Are we playing baseball?"

Alice beamed, "It's all up to Edward."

They both turned to me. I had to please them and they had to think that I was the old Edward, so I gave them a crooked grin, "Why waste a perfectly good thunder storm?"

"Yes!" Emmett roared and sprinted back into the house to gather his equipment.

"Will everyone else want to play?" Alice wondered to herself.

"Like you don't know already," I chuckled at her.

She just grinned, "I'll go ask them," and she was bouncing back into the house.

I turned my back to the house and gazed into the forest in longing and wonderment, wishing to see Bella appear from behind the trees for the last time of obvious hoping.

* * *

"WOO!" Emmett boomed into the silence as we entered the clearing. He registered the six pairs of eyes on him, all with different emotions. "What?"

"Would you keep it down Emmett," Rosalie lectured.

Esme gave him both a humoured and judging glance, "we don't want to be found."

"Yeah Emmett, it's what you call a 'low profile'," Alice joked.

Jasper was at her side in a second and he rapped his arm around her, "he's not one for keeping a 'low profile'." He gave Alice a quick smile then picked up the bats and the ball and started walking towards were we'd be playing.

Emmett watched after him for a moment then jogged to his side, "I don't keep a 'low profile'? When have I not?"

Jasper laughed, ""Not including today?"

"Hey," Emmett rebuffed.

I let their conversation fade in the distance.

"When do the others get here?" Esme asked.

Alice looked evasive, so I turned to her "What others?"

She looked at me with an apology in her eyes and a guilty, half smile. Carlisle answered my question, "Tanya's family were planning a visit to us, so we invited them to join us."

"Oh," I really didn't want to see them, though they are family too. I just don't think I could deal with Tanya right now, but I'll have to deal with it. "Okay."

"Alright," Carlisle nodded at me when he knew that I'd be okay with this, "when are they getting here, Alice?"

She didn't even have to think about it, "They're close. A few minutes away."

I listened with my mind and tried to find their mental voices. "They're three minutes away, they're moving fast."

"Great," Esme smiled.

"We should get ready," while he said this, Carlisle took Esme's hand and walked to meet Jasper and Emmett, who were wrestling in the centre of the green.

I cast a glance over my shoulder to the space in the trees where Tanya and her family would appear. Rosalie followed my sight, and then almost sarcastically she muttered quietly to me, "this should be fun."

For once in my entire life, at that moment, something near impossible just happened that I didn't think would ever happen.

I agreed with _Rosalie_.

* * *

What do you think?

Review!

Thanks to all readers and reviews. You're legendary!


	11. Tormented

Hello.

Sorry I haven't updated this story in forever. I looked back on it and thought I really should carry on, so I have.

But to be completely honest this was quite rushed and I know it isn't perfect but I really wanted to update more of it.

So, here you go.

Enjoy.

* * *

Tormented

EPOV

Kate was the first to appear through the trees. "I win," she called behind her. Then one by one, the rest of their family emerged.

I stood at my position, in deep fielding, at the other end of the clearing; Branches from the trees behind me blew in the wind and flicked my back, but it didn't bother me.

"Sorry," Eleazar apologised, "the rest of us couldn't make it." He gave me a quick sideways glance.

I was extremely glad when I was sure Laurent wasn't going to step out of the trees.

After a few seconds of organisation, everyone was in the right place and the game was ready to commence.

The teams were:

Team one:

Me

Jasper

Alice

Esme

Kate

Carmen

Team two:

Rosalie

Emmet

Carlisle

Eleazar

Tanya

Irina

First up to bat was Emmet, Alice was bowling and they exchanged a competitive look, as if they were truly siblings.

Alice's bowl was quick and graceful like the strike of a cobra; the ball rocketed through the air at Emmet who hit it without effort. The crack of the bat hitting the ball echoed like the thunder and everyone shifted. Rapidly, the baseball flew in my direction and over my head; I broke in to a sprint after it.

Dodging the trees was second nature, within a second I caught the ball and launched it back to the field. The sound of Emmet shouting a profanity and a group of laughter reached me a second later and I laughed too.

I grinned hugely. I missed this feeling, the feel of happiness and family bonding. It had been too long since we had done something like this as a family; it made me guilty to be the cause of that.

As I began to jog back, a figure darted through the bushes in my peripheral vision. I could have sworn it was a figure…

"Edward?" Esme's frantic call.

Urgh…I let myself forget the vision of the shadow, it was probably just a deer –though that's not what I could smell…

"Edward!" Tanya yelled in anxiety. Sighing, I ran back to the game. "What took you so long?"

"Nothing," I mumbled, "Just got distracted." I was having difficulty appearing as if everything was fine, but I then caught a glimpse of Emmet huffing to himself and giving Rosalie, who was having a blast - giggling at him-, a mocking scowl. I couldn't help but chuckle.

Tanya's eyes watched me intently.

"Tanya, you're up," Eleazar informed her while also amusing himself by listening to Emmet whine and complain.

Without hesitation, Tanya bounced away, grabbed a bat and stood ready for Alice to throw her the ball.

The game continued normally. My team was winning and every point we gained Emmet groaned more and more. Everyone was entertaining his or herself by teasing him further. However, throughout the game, the memory of pain rippled through me behind the barriers I raised to control it. My face gave nothing away as on the outside I played baseball neutrally with my family, whereas on the inside I questioned my decisions on life, my sanity, and leaving my love.

Carlisle had invited the Denali clan back to our house. I heard the excitement of winning from my team as I trailed sluggishly behind everyone. One by one, everyone piled into the house, conversing joyfully, leaving me outside.

Tanya was the only person, apart from me, that didn't go inside immediately.

"What's wrong?" Tanya questioned me like a police officer interrogating a witness.

"Nothing," I said innocently.

"Don't give me that. What are you hiding?" She pressed.

She was on to me; _could she really see the lie in my eyes? Or was she bluffing?_ Either way I couldn't take a chance. "I don't know what you're talking about," I was sure to make eye contact when lying to her, as looking away is a key give away of a liar's con.

Her breathing stopped and her eyes unfocused slightly in my gaze. I didn't need to read her mind to know the directions of her thoughts.

I looked to the trees and waited for her thoughts to calm. When they didn't I tried distracting her, "why don't you go inside." It was more of a command then a question.

"No."

"Go inside," I commanded again and started towards the forests edge.

A hand on my arm yanked me back, "No. Where are you going?"

"Nowhere in particular." I shot back, walking away again.

She pulled me back, harder than before. "Stop!" She cried.

"What?" I turned on her, "Stop what?"

"Walking away every time I talk to you, I mean, would it be so bad? To be with me?" Her breathing sped and she was becoming hysterical.

"Go inside, Tanya, now," I growled, the last time I'd say it.

She growled back at me, "No."

I scowled at her, "What do you want from me?"

"You," she said simply, and then thought of something else; _and also the truth. You can see into everyone else's minds and now I want to see into yours._

A rumble in my chest again; "What do you want from me?" I repeated, wanting her to say the words instead of hearing the ones in her head.

"Tell me the truth about how you feel about me."

"You don't want to know," I was evasive, avoiding the question because the least I could do now was not hurt her.

"I want to know even if it's not what I want to hear." She squared her shoulders, bracing herself.

I hesitated. Then I thought I'd tell the truth with some of what she wanted to hear, not entirely a lie. "You're a great girl Tanya, and you'll make a man really happy someday, but that isn't me. As much as you may think it is, I'm not the guy for you. You'll find him someday and you'll realise that you never had feelings for me."

"C'mon Edward, you understand my thoughts as well as I do and I know how I feel about you," she said quietly.

"You're right," I felt a stab of guilt when hope lightened her expression. I continued, "I can understand your thoughts and it seems I can understand them better then you. You've deluded yourself into thinking you have feelings for me, because it's the easiest option."

_Don't tell me what I feel?_ She answered me mentally.

"You wanted the truth," I confessed.

I _know the truth about my feelings._ She took a step towards me and I retreated one. _I want to know if there will ever be something between us._

I lowered my voice, "How many times do I have to say it?"

_Just say it._

"But will you even _listen_? You haven't before, all the other times I've told you, over and over."

_I am now._

Anger boiled within me, "Well I hope it sinks in this time. Nothing is ever going to happen between you and me. I'm done with the whole concept of love, because the one person I've ever loved was the one person in the world I couldn't be with. Every time I was near her I put her in danger." My voice calmed microscopically, "Now, you've asked me all these questions and I've given you the truth, now I want something from you."

She was taken aback, "what?"

"Give up on this fascination. I know it's a horrible thing to say but just give up. You'll find love and hopefully it will work out better for you then it has for me."

"But wouldn't it be easier, to just be with me. I'm here and I want to be with you. If this _Isabella-."_

"Bella" I interrupted, snarling.

"Fine- Bella isn't here enough to want to be with you-" Tanya continued with a glint of hope.

"Please, don't!" I pleaded, my face crumpling up in pain.

"Oh, come _on_, Edward! It has been months and if she really loved you, surely the first thing she would have done is to visit you. I mean, see has the choice to spend eternity with you and she won't even-."

"STOP!"

A crow in a tree close by squawked in shock from my outburst and took off.

It was silent after.

Tanya paused for a moment, assessing me intently, and slowly her thoughts were full of sympathy. "I'm so sorry." _I wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything._

I remained quiet, refraining from yelling at her anymore then I already have.

She hugged me then, only in comfort. It wasn't a romantic gesture or a flirtatious signal, she hugged me the way a friend would soothe a friend.

My arms encircle her quickly then, as a precaution, I put my hands on her shoulders, to release her hold on me if she began having improper thoughts; I'd made the mistake before.

She let go soon after though, which surprised, and impressed, me. Maybe it had finally sunk in, as mean as it sounds, I hoped that were the case.

_I'll go inside and give you some time alone. _She smiled.

"Thanks, Tanya." I gave her a small smile and headed to the forest. Not even at the thinning of the trees and I caught a whiff of a scent that I couldn't pin point. For a second I thought about following it but then thought better of it.

Once I'd past the forests edge I ran and didn't stop until I reached the meadow. I don't know what had drawn me to it but I couldn't stop from coming here.

I settled into the middle of the meadow, lying in the grass and flowers, letting all the scents assault me. The plants around me tickled my skin in the wind and I couldn't help from holding the memories of Bella filling my mind.

I remember the soft feather-like feel of her hair when my fingers knotted in the tresses, the blush in her cheeks and the fiery burn it caused in my throat. Her chocolate brown eyes, warm and inviting, stared into mine and allowing me to read her emotions. I let my imagination run wild, and imagined her lying next to me, that the blades of grass gliding across my skin where her fingers, the same as the first time I'd brought her here. She'd sat so near to me, yet it still wasn't near enough. I imagined the warmth of her skin as she stroked my arm.

I had created such an image in my head that when I opened my eyes I was overwhelmed with disappointment. My stomach lurched in longing and loneliness. I knew, without a doubt, that if I was human I would have cried then, the torture of living without her was excruciatingly unbearable. If I were mortal, I know that I wouldn't have been able to _stop_ crying, ever since the moment I left.

That's exactly right…_I_ left…no one brought this upon me but myself.

Bella wanted me to stay and I wished I'd never left, or even had the thought of leaving.

Against my will I thought of her again, picturing her arms wrapped around me and mine around her. Her voice when she said my name and the tremble it sent through my body. The fragrance from her skin and the sweetness of her blood, the floral smell that tempted and appealed to me. It was a scent I'd never forget, it was so rich and memorable…it was a scent I'd already dimly caught today.

I sat bolt right up, deliberating quickly. _Had it really been her scent I'd came across? The scent I'd found after arguing with Tanya?_

The scent hadn't set my throat alight when she was warm and human, but I could've sworn I'd smelt a floral under coating to it.

_But why did she come to the edge of the forest and then leave? What made her go?_

I forgot about the questions for a minute while I barrelled through the undergrowth.

I prayed it was her scent, as I sprinted after it.

B p o v:

Anger, frustration, rage, all those words and more, filled with poison and hate, weren't enough to describe how I was feeling. How could Edward have done this to me? First he leaves, then this?

I growled as the sight of them, Edward and some other vampire girl embracing each other, swirled behind my eyelids and refused to erase itself from my head.

Did he leave me _for _her? Was I not good enough? Was there _something_ I _did_? Did he _love_ her? Or… was this what he _did_? Did he live through a century, manipulating girls to fall for him and show them a different world they never knew existed, then on the brink of complete adoration for him he would drop them back off in the ordinary and now plain world they were born in to?

My mind said that it must be true, but my heart wishes to grasp another explanation. My poor, naïve heart had been broken and glued back together, but never again in perfect condition. How can a heart be repeatedly mangled and still be expected to beat?

"Please!" He begged. "Please, don't-" The man was so scared that he couldn't finish his sentences. "Please, you can't-"

I just stared at his shaking figure on the ground as he crawled away from me. I stalked towards him, more of a strut, of power and strength that filled me. My eyes must be the thing that scared him the most. If anyone had seen me a week ago, my irises were amber, becoming a honey gold. Although now, thanks to my recent angered outburst, I have starved myself, my thirst now incontrollable. My black fathomable eyes must be hard to stare at for too long a time, especially with the boiling hatred I felt course inside me. Now I was allowing myself to slip from the more…appropriate solution to drinking blood.

However, how could I control the thirst for so long, and then walk past a blood so warm and –in Laurent's words- mouth-watering?

I'll be back at the first stage, one feed from a human and my eyes will turn bright crimson again.

The mortal inside me stirred restless but I kicked it back, anger and hatred surged within me, changing me. I truly felt like a vampire when the hatred coursed through me- animalistic and full of bloodlust.

"You can't kill me," he finally said, still shuffling through the mud and leaves. I stood still for a second to admire my catch. He'd been easy to find, I happened across his path, he'd been simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. His white t-shirt was smeared with mud and grime for scuttling across the floor. The blue jeans he wore were now green and he'd lost a shoe in the thorns of a stinging nettle when he had ran away from me.

"Funny," I laughed as I crouched in front of him, "I think I can."

"Please!"

"Shh," I put my index finger on his mouth and cast a glance around. "It's so peaceful. You're ruining it."

He sobbed quietly.

I faintly remembered James in the ballet studio; I recalled my recollection of that day and used some of his…'techniques'. "Don't you like it?" I taunted, admiring the scenery, the trees, the undergrowth, the forest. "I thought it was very nice, very…quiet…deserted..."

The full-grown man wept in hopeless, still crawling and scurrying through the debris - he was like a mouse running from a tiger, "Why me?"

_You must stop this! You have to see sense! _The human within me yelled in desperation.

"Shut up!" I told them both. "I've had enough."

"But you can't kill m-."

"I swear to God" I interrupted him, "that if you say that one more time I'll kill you right now." I never raised my voice at him; instead, I purred it playfully with a menacing undertone.

Tears ran down his cheeks and there was a small tug on my heart as he looked like an innocent little boy. I scowled at him when he opened his mouth, waving my thoughts away dismissively.

"Why me?"

I thought the truth was the most that I could give him; I crouched one foot away from him and took pleasure when he flinched at my speed. "In all honesty, it's because you were the first person I found," I said, giving a nod to his hiking backpack I'd flung aside without straying my eyes from his.

He was at a loss for words, so all he said was, "P-le-ease." The word was lost in mid sob.

"I want you to know," I stared at him in complete seriousness, my face unwavering. "That this isn't anything against _you_. It's just…well there is no better word then, revenge."

"Revenge?" He mumbled incoherently and inaudibly.

"Yes, to get back at an old friend of mine." I saw the question form in his eyes and answered it to save time, "Spilling your blood isn't going make a difference really, but it might make me feel better."

He flinched.

"So it's worth a shot right?"

"N-no," he stuttered.

I pouted, "Don't you want me to be happy?"

The man paused and tucked a brown lock that had fallen into his eye behind his ear. "No."

"Oh, well in that case…" I stood then and gripped my hands around his neck, pulling him to his feet. He gasped in pain and surprise. "I best kill you quickly."

My hands began to tighten and, before the man's face could even register discomfort; I was knocked to the side and thrown into the bark of a tree. I growled in annoyance and turned to see Edward; Alice and Carlisle were bent over the cowering man, tending to his wounds.

"DON'T TOUCH HIM!" For the first time today, I raised my voice and shouted fiercely to them.

"What happened to you, Bella?" Edward stared at me in confusion. "This isn't like you."

"_You_," I growled, the words ripping out of me. "You did this to me. It's. Your. Fault."

"I know."

My eyes widened in bewilderment and the growls stopped for a moment, I had expected him to retaliate. Then sadly, "Am I _nothing_ to you?"

His eyebrows knotted together. "Bella, you're _everything_ to me."

A puff of air escaped my lips sarcastically. "I don't believe it. If I meant _anything_ to you then why did you leave? Why did you leave me when I was in the most dangerous position I'd ever been in my life?"

"I know. I shouldn't have left, I didn't want to. It was what I thought was best for you and-".

"What was _BEST_ for me?" I screeched. "You nearly killed me, emotionally and physically; and not only once!"

A moan from the man on the floor and Alice's reassuring voice faded to the back of my mind.

Edward looked as hurt as the man writhing on the ground, "I'm sorry."

"No, you're not. I know you're not but that doesn't matter," how I loved how easy it was to lie now.

"Bella, you're not thinking clearly, I know what you're going through. We all do." He gestured the two members of his family behind him, which reminded me why they were here.

I flinched. With a small vibration of my lips that only immortal ears could ever hear, "what's happening to me?"

The barriers containing my mortal memory collapsed and knocked the breath out of me. I started backing away as the scent of blood engulfed me.

"Bella?" Frightened now.

"I've got to get out of here," I spoke with the last of the oxygen in my lungs before hurtling into the forest. I could hear him trailing behind but I couldn't focus on that.

_What had I done? What was I going to do?_

I ran a few more miles then stopped, sniffing the air cautiously. It was easier to think now that I was far away.

The human within me wept but my inhuman exterior gave nothing away.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked.

An echo of love rippled in my heart at the sound of his voice. That love, along with the raging fire in my throat, made my voice break, "Fine."

"Bella?"

I turned to see him, the sight of him was worse; it made my dead heart want to beat, the memory of a flush on my cheeks when I was human, fragile and completely in love. "What?" The memory of tears, streaking down my face, when I'd cried over him. My mind was everywhere, I thought of my love for him, the thirst that burned me, the horror at what I was about to do moments ago- taking a human life…

"Are you mad at me?" He sounded like a small child, asking his mother if he was in trouble.

It made the urge to cry stronger, even though I knew it was impossible. My voice shook and I imagined the beads of water falling from my eyes. "No."

He hung his head, "you should be."

I gained composure while he couldn't see my face. "You're wrong and it's in the past now. Just-just forget it." I was going to say _just forget me_, but I was too selfish to do that.

Edward looked up then and straight into my eyes. "It matters to me." A tortured expression appeared on his face, "I don't want to hurt you, Bella. I've never wanted to hurt you."

"You see that's my point, right there," a glimmer of anger was left within me, anger I didn't know I had towards him, and it raged like wild fire. "You're a great liar and a perfect actor because you have wanted to _kill_ me before; when we first met. But you left me-" he was shaking his head so I added, "you may not have wanted to hurt me but you did. If you didn't want to harm me you wouldn't have left."

"Bella," his eyes closed and his head still shook in torment. "You're not listening to me. I left to protect you-."

"Well it sure worked," Sarcastic, and I was unconsciously starting to yell.

"Bella-"

I didn't give him chance to talk, the fury boiled up in me again and every thing, all the pain I'd been through and the heartbreak I'd suffered I threw back at him in words. "Don't you dare try to say that it was all for my benefit, because if it was you would have done something more rational then leave me. I would have rather you killed me, I would have rather you bleed me dry then that; but its fine, you don't have to worry about me anymore. You don't have to worry about hurting me, because you already have. Someone else has too, just to make sure there was no part of me you left unharmed."

I could see his mouth beginning to open and a flash of retaliation in his eyes. My composure was slipping, I couldn't hold out any longer. I pivoted on my heel and darted through the trees, running from the person I was and wanted to be.

* * *

Well, I tried. It may not be brilliant but I tried. :)

And if you're wondering about why I wrote this so that Bella nearly killed an innocent person is because last time I'd asked what you all would've liked to happen. I got about a 50% for and 50 against so I met in the middle. She doesn't really harm him but trys to. I didn't know anyother way to please everyone.

Anyway, please leave some comments and say what you think.

Thanks for reading!


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